Fragile
Today I tried to change my bedroom furniture around so I can create a space for me to study. I noted how easily exhausted I got, getting out of breath just pushing and pulling a desk about the room. I then knew I had to take a break. I thought about how in times past I was much fitter. Now I have to be extra careful not to overdo it. I'm tired of taking it easy. I want to move again!
When I woke up today I was real tired and kind of achy and did not want to get out of bed. I woke up at 5 am and stayed in bed under the covers for about two hours just laying there, closing my eyes. Wanting to go back to sleep but knowing I couldn't. I already got myself back on a normal sleep schedule, I don't want to mess it up again. Staying up all night and sleeping all day got depressing fast. Even though I can't go outside when the sun is up, it is still nice to be awake when everyone else is. I know one day I will be able to walk outside again and enjoy the sun. I know it. I will see to it.
So while I may be fragile now, I have hopes that in time I will be healed and be able to enjoy life to its fullest once again. Until then, I will exercise my faith and keep fueling my body with super nutrition. Today I had about 22 oz. of spinach, banana, kale, and apple smoothie. I need to make me something to eat again pretty soon. I am thinking avocado dip with lots of baby carrots and clementines. I really need to think of other savory vegetables I can eat throughout the week--fruits get too sweet too soon.
Anyways, after scooting furniture around for an hour, I am back in bed taking a rest. I hate how lazy that sounds, but with what I'm dealing with right now, I have no other choice.
When I woke up today I was real tired and kind of achy and did not want to get out of bed. I woke up at 5 am and stayed in bed under the covers for about two hours just laying there, closing my eyes. Wanting to go back to sleep but knowing I couldn't. I already got myself back on a normal sleep schedule, I don't want to mess it up again. Staying up all night and sleeping all day got depressing fast. Even though I can't go outside when the sun is up, it is still nice to be awake when everyone else is. I know one day I will be able to walk outside again and enjoy the sun. I know it. I will see to it.
So while I may be fragile now, I have hopes that in time I will be healed and be able to enjoy life to its fullest once again. Until then, I will exercise my faith and keep fueling my body with super nutrition. Today I had about 22 oz. of spinach, banana, kale, and apple smoothie. I need to make me something to eat again pretty soon. I am thinking avocado dip with lots of baby carrots and clementines. I really need to think of other savory vegetables I can eat throughout the week--fruits get too sweet too soon.
Anyways, after scooting furniture around for an hour, I am back in bed taking a rest. I hate how lazy that sounds, but with what I'm dealing with right now, I have no other choice.
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