Not good
I'm not feeling well today. Weak, dry, run down, sicky feeling. No pain though so thankful for that. The events of yesterday plus high anxiety and making poor food choices contributed.
On depression and losing the magic you once had.
As I reflect and look back on the last couple of years of my life, I feel nothing but pain and brief moments of nostalgia longing to have the small joys I used to experience back then. I am grieved to look back and then at who I am today and realize how far I have fallen from who I used to be. The happy, full of life version of me. Granted, I was never a real happy go lucky kind of person, but I certainly was not as dark and depressed as this. There was 2018, when I wanted to find someone special. I started praying to God asking Him to send me someone I could connect with because I felt so lonely. Not just lonely, but a deep ache inside I can only describe as a vacuum of sorts. I had legit frost-bite like pains in the upper left quadrant of my chest. It felt like something was terribly missing. I actually found out in emotional pain mapping that area represents longing for a male figure. I would cry out to God for a friend who I could feel connected to. I was faced with the fact that
Comments
Post a Comment