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Yay!

Its sad when you feel like you have to prove how sick you are.

I'm tired. There are dishes in the sink to do that keep piling up. I just can't bring myself to do them. I wish my family knew what is going on in me.

Finished my green smoothie!! It was Kale day. I woke up this morning feeling some pain in my body. My left leg cramped on the inside, the top of my right foot ached, and my back hurt. But now it is gone away! After getting up and moving around and praying to God, I am in much better spirits than I expected to be today. I also got some really restful sleep, too. I had some Yogi brand lavender chamomile tea (two bags) and prayed asking God to watch over me while I slept to keep me from panic attacks. I have been waking up in panic this week for no reason. Pretty scary! Anyways, this morning I made a kale and frozen strawberry smoothie with turmeric powder and a salad with cherry tomatoes and chunks of cauliflower. I poured a cap full of apple cider vinegar as a dressing. It was actually nice to eat and I didn't have to hold my nose to keep from tasting it! Right now, I am feeling a bit more energy than when I woke up. Pretty cool! I will knock this out.

Woke up in pain. Not terrible but I notice it. My left leg hurts, my toes are cramping, and I'm still mega tired.

Been extra tired lately.

My rash is visible but I am not scared. I'm pumping my body with nutrition that will kick its butt!

Eating breakfast as raw is easy because all you have to do is make a smoothie and throw some fruit on  a plate. Lunch is harder for me because around afternoon my stomach starts to make lots of rumbling sounds and I feel like I haven't eaten in HOURS. I also really ,really wanted something hearty like some meat or cheese! So I cooked some cut up mushrooms and sprinkled garlic and onion powder and warmed them over the stove in coconut oil. I then took some leftover lettuce from yesterday and put it in a bowl with some raw spinach greens. I placed the mushrooms over the lettuce and made it a salad. I then took a slice of watermelon and put it on a separate plate for dessert. Then I made a blueberry, kale, spinach and strawberry smoothie with orange juice. So my tummy is happy now. I know that by cooking the mushrooms I am not exactly eating "raw" but for now, this is as good as I can do! :)

I just changed my cats litterbox and got out of breath and I feel like I just ran a Marathon. Physical exertion is no good for me apparently. Thank goodness I won't have to change it again for another week or so. I'm worn out and feel gross. Time for some rest. I suppose it is a good thing I quit my job...my illness makes me tire too easily because my immune system is hard at work attacking itself. Thankfully I am losing weight and the swelling in my joints are subsiding. I am very happy about that!!! God is helping me even when I couldn't feel Him. :)

This is what breakfast for me looks like today. While I used to enjoy opening up a can of Coke and grabbing a Little Debbie Snack Cake when I was fifteen years old, today I am choosing to fill my body with some FUEL! I had a slice of watermelon *wish I would have got more*, some chunks of cauliflower, some lettuce leaves. On the right is a green smoothie with just handfuls of kale and spinach and a few frozen strawberries with one cup of orange juice. To the left is Yogi brand Chamomile Lavender Stress Relief tea. The cauliflower was a little hard to eat--since I didn't cook it, it had that very robust flavor, and since Ranch dressing or melted cheese was not an option, I had to eat it just by itself. After all, I am trying to eat as raw as possible! I am very happy about my new lifestyle. I hope I can continue it for the rest of my life. I already have lost about 7 lbs and most of my facial fat since starting it at the beginning of this month. Wonder what it will be like in

WOW! I was told my face looks slimmer since eating better so I decided to see for myself. I look so good! Definition is coming back to my face and I have lost my "moon face". I was so swollen last month. I can't believe how awesome I feel for treating my body better and fueling it with real food that heals. I am so excited!

Whatever autoimmune is going on in my body, Hashimoto or Lupus, here is a pic of me in all my inflamed glory. Note double neck/chin fat. On this day next year I shall post an "after" pic of me to see how good my diet has done me!!!

Thank GOOD NESS I get to go to my doctor today. 3:30 cannot come fast enough. It feels like the left side of my brain is swelling. I'm scared. I wonder what my Doctor will do. I hope he doesn't send me to a hospital because my family won't believe me. I'm still puffy and swollen as ever. I also hope he can give me something to take the swelling down in my body because Advil does not help worth a poot. If I have to go to a rheumy before I can get help means more suffering time with swelling that will make my organs shot. I'm scared. God be with me.

By the grace of God I made it thru another day alive. Thank You Jesus for another day to breathe. Please be with me. Amen.

2 table spoons of organic lemon whit half table spoon of baking soda

Feel awful FINALLY got a good picture(s) of my butterfly rash. You can really tell the red in my cheeks, over my nose, etc.  Anyways, today I feel yucky. My left finger has grown almost to the same size as my right, and the left side of my head feels swollen. Scary. I am so happy to be going back to my doctor tomorrow. I just pray I can make it through today alive lol. I also pray my doctor orders the right tests and sees that something is definitely wrong. It sucks that I have to kick and push so much for help but I guess when you have been a hypochondriac all your life people don't take you seriously when you say things like "I think I have Lupus" or "Look at my swelling ankles," "my rash", etc. it's sad. All those years of anxiety have probably costed me my health when something really IS wrong now.  But it's okay. God is with me. 

 Baths are a very special thing for me. Bath time is the only time in my day where I cam soak in warmth and relax.  But ever since I have been feeling ill, I am having a hard time soaking now. For the past few days whenever I try to take a bath I feel sick afterwards. My face breaks out in rashes that itch like fire, and I run a low-grade fever (highest it ever got was 99.5). Baths are scary for me now. It's wild how something that used to bring me comfort now frightens me. I need to get clean, but i am too scared to get wet. I'm trying to keep my faith up but it feels like my prayers are falling on deaf ears. I'm still swelling as heck, and today the horrid fatigue has struck again. Also had a fight with a family member on Facebook last night about how I do not have Lupus but allergies. It frustrates me because my family looks at what is happening to me, my swollen ankles, etc. and still does not take me at my word when I try to tell them I feel ill. It hurts me. I nee

Not really feeling good today. Fatigue and chills and weird heart feelings. Yikes! Friday cannot come quick enough.

This morning I am feeling "kinda" better than yesterday , although I am still swelling and having pain and pressure in my head/sinuses. I took a magnesium pill when I got up and just took another one praying it helps. Also I think the Cabergoline helped me get my mood up (took one half tab yesterday for my pituitary tumor). I needed that dopamine badly. My body is so whacked out with raging hormones, fluctuations, hormones that don't need to be occurring, etc. and now to add on an autoimmune issue is like opening a circus! Things are getting crazy up in here. Anyways, this morning just before the sun came up, I went out into my backyard and sat down on the lawn in the cold and prayed that God would heal me and help me get healthy. I said that if I get better I would live my life so much different than I have been, I remembered all the times I lived in fear and let my petty issues control my life and as a result, I wasted my life. I think when you are so close to having

I surprisingly feel pretty good right now considering I'm still swollen. I started my day with a spinach Berry smoothie with a plate full of fruit. I also took a magnesium pill hoping it might help take the swelling down while I wait to go back to my doctor.

Poor body is so inflamed. I really feel messed up right now. My ankles and left leg are swelling up and hurting every now and then with sharp burning pain, my hands are getting larger, and now I feel pressure in my head. I also have a 1.1cm pituitary tumor so you can only imagine how dangerous that is for my head to swell. I can bleed. I feel like one of the Baudelaire children in Lemony Snicket's "A Tale of Unfortunate Events" because bad things just keep happening to me! I am not sure if I am even going to make it. I'm real scared. I keep praying for God to heal me but it seems like I just keep getting worse. I hope I can stabilize myself until the 22nd. My condition is succumbing quickly than I thought, maybe because I have been overworking myself. But I had energy! I don't get this Lupus. What a wolf! 

Starting to get really scared with my left leg swelling and my face is starting to itch with redness again.

As if it wasn't enough that my index finger has grown to Vienna sausage proportions my ankles wanted to join in on the fun!

Father, I come before you in the mighty name of Jesus. I thank you, Father, that Your Son, Jesus, bore in His body two thousand years ago on Calvery the disease of lupus. I therefore thank You that by His stripes I was healed, and I therefore come before You seeking the full manifestation of total and complete healing from lupus. I speak, Father, in the name of Jesus to the components of my immune system that are mistakenly attacking my own body. I speak balance to the immune cells and protection over my heart, lungs, joints, kidneys, and every cell, organ, and blood vessel in my body. I ask You, Father, to show me the specific pathway that will lead to total healing in my body. Reveal through the leading of the Holy Spirit those natural substances that I can take to balance my immune system, and as I do all that I can do in the natural, Father, I look to You to do the supernatural to produce the full manifestation of healing in my temple. I thank You, Father, that according to 1 Peter

99.1 fever and left leg swelling. God please be with me.

My butterfly rash made a public appearance tonight before I had my bath. Guess that bike ride is finally kickin' in. Notice the tired eyes! But I'm keeping my head up! God is with me!

I have been doing so much better since my last post! I haven't been hurting much anywhere and I actually rode my bike a little after I wrote my last post--something I wasn't so sure of at first. But the morning sky beckoned me as the sun was coming up. I touched the handlebars of my bike and rolled it out on the porch for the first time in a week  (feels longer than that, cycling was my passion before I started feeling bad) and rode down the street. I was kind of scared because everything looked kind of hazy like when you have dissociation but I became accustomed to it. I breathed in the cold air and thanked God I was alive. Having something wrong with you makes you take things slow and really appreciate your life. I know I have definitely been more grateful lately. And the best part is, after I came home and went to sleep, I woke up and didn't feel like I was dying! I still have energy--granted, not a whole bunch, but I have energy. More than I usually had last week whe

I just woke up and am having pain in my fingers. They hurt when I type. I took a look at my toes and they are looking like they could be swelling. I want to believe I can get better and defeat this. I don't want to let this overcome me. But the truth is, I'm scared. I don't know what's gonna happen to me. I don't even know if what I have is even Lupus. It could be blood cancer, Leukemia, Lymphoma (My lymph node is seriously swelling out of my neck) or some other scary disease. It's scary when you feel like no one believes you when you try to confide in them about how you do not feel well. It's scary not having someone to really listen to you and not dismiss your fears. I guess I can blame myself for all that, though. I've always been super anxious throughout, nearly, my entire life. I'm like the boy who cried wolf--why should people listen to me now? But that still doesn't take my fear away. In fact it makes it worse. Everything is so shaky r

I'm not sure how things are going in my body today.. I have been having more pain in my legs (especially my left leg) and this morning the pain is like an itching, burning pain. I also felt painful nerve pain in the bones of my feet. That was new. My left ankle also has some fluid retention, which is really scary because I have been having pain all through that leg (areas where clots can form) and so knowing I may very well have Lupus this is scary to me. But I cannot do anything about it at the moment. Nothing shows up in my blood tests (except CRP which isn't medically significant at this point) and my malar rash comes and goes and when I try to show people, they can't see it. All I can do now is keep praying to God and eating good foods and drinking green smoothies. I had a dream last night about God. Lately I have been having dreams about Him...wonder what it means. In my dream I was standing in the back of a truck that was speeding down the highway at night. There

Pineapple Watermelon Kiwi Maybe get some pineapple in a can. That's pretty cheap. My local grocery store sells cubed watermelon in a bowl. I think they have kiwis too but not sure. I bet they are good. I think I have tried kiwi once a long time ago but barely remember.

So this is what I am doing everyday. Breakfast Make a spinach or kale smoothie with fruit and orange juice Eat a piece of fruit Take 4,000 Vitamin D Take one tablet of Vitamin C Take a gummy probiotic (running out though!) Lunch Eat meat or fish (ground up hamburger meat or can of tuna or sardines) Salad with just lemon on it Make another smoothie Dinner Protein (beef, boudan, fish) Half of my plate will consist of veggies (carrots, peas, green beans) Salad on the side with lemon Other things I have been doing... Drinking 1/2 tsp of baking soda with one cup of warm water in the morning Take one shot of 1 tbsp of apple cider vinegar (chase it down with water afterwards) So yeah. I have eliminated all sugars (unnatural sugars like cookies and cakes), flour, wheat, dairy (I miss milk and cheeses!!! my diet was all about dairy!! No wonder I am sick now lol), legumes, soda, high fructose products, boxed foods, TV dinners, processed foods--all the stuff I was so used t

This is a picture of me this evening. I still feel weak and tired like I have the flu. I am thinking about doing a 2 day fast because it can help heal the immune system.

Before

So tonight I had a bowl of Grape Nuts cereal and--I am not sure if it is the cause of this or if it is the cat hair on my bed--but I broke out with a terrible itchy rash near my chin! It felt like fire, too. Thankfully it is going away. I am wondering if this is telling me I am allergic to wheat since I am trying to follow the AIP/Paleo diet to restart my immune system.