He's still here

This morning I am feeling "kinda" better than yesterday , although I am still swelling and having pain and pressure in my head/sinuses. I took a magnesium pill when I got up and just took another one praying it helps. Also I think the Cabergoline helped me get my mood up (took one half tab yesterday for my pituitary tumor). I needed that dopamine badly. My body is so whacked out with raging hormones, fluctuations, hormones that don't need to be occurring, etc. and now to add on an autoimmune issue is like opening a circus! Things are getting crazy up in here.

Anyways, this morning just before the sun came up, I went out into my backyard and sat down on the lawn in the cold and prayed that God would heal me and help me get healthy. I said that if I get better I would live my life so much different than I have been, I remembered all the times I lived in fear and let my petty issues control my life and as a result, I wasted my life. I think when you are so close to having a serious disease that can possibly alter or even end your life you look at yourself in a whole different way. Suddenly I take a breath and look around and appreciate the way the naked winter trees dance in the wind.

I have to remember, He's still here.

Here are some pictures I took with my phone after I was done praying.

No matter what happens, everything will be okay. because Jesus lives within me.