Meh

I'm not sure how things are going in my body today.. I have been having more pain in my legs (especially my left leg) and this morning the pain is like an itching, burning pain. I also felt painful nerve pain in the bones of my feet. That was new. My left ankle also has some fluid retention, which is really scary because I have been having pain all through that leg (areas where clots can form) and so knowing I may very well have Lupus this is scary to me. But I cannot do anything about it at the moment. Nothing shows up in my blood tests (except CRP which isn't medically significant at this point) and my malar rash comes and goes and when I try to show people, they can't see it. All I can do now is keep praying to God and eating good foods and drinking green smoothies.

I had a dream last night about God. Lately I have been having dreams about Him...wonder what it means.

In my dream I was standing in the back of a truck that was speeding down the highway at night. There were two dog cages tied to the floorboard and I was looking down about to fall off the truck. Then I saw Jesus and an angel appear above me and Jesus caught me before I could fall--and the angel told me that I need to really trust God.

So while I don't know what is happening with my body or how  things will turn out for me this year, I am making the most of my time by trying to rekindle my relationship with the Lord by praying and getting back into the Word. Using this time is good for me to get closer to Him. Who knows, maybe this has befallen me in order for Him to get my attention back?

But the good news is, I have been able to do some light aerobics in my room without feeling like I'm dying afterwards. So now that the exhaustion is over, now I am getting more pain. I can't figure out which one I would like to have more lol. I'll take being sleepy over pain please.

I posted some pictures of my swollen neck on a Facebook group yesterday morning and got some AWESOME replies by some very caring people ( I was shocked by their compassion to help me ) and one sweet woman tried hard to get me answers, she had me join a group and asked the admin to help me. I am so thankful she did that. I got a few answers from people. One man asked me to post my CBC and told me I have markers for a low-grade bacterial infection (my WBC is teetering on the high side) and he told me that in Lupus the WBC is usually low.

I go see my endocrinologist on the 25th of this month. I hope she notices I am not feeling well and does not dismiss me. I will tell her about my ankle and finger swelling and pain and exhaustion. It would be cool if she would order tests that my general doctor didn't, but I know that may not happen. Until then, I'm going to keep doing what I have been doing; praying, keeping my faith up, witnessing to people online, eating good, and making lots of smoothies! I got this. My God is watching over me and He is helping me.