Scary moment last night
So yesterday I wasn't feeling good. I was more tired than usual. I chocked it up to my Cabergoline pill I had to take the day before (for my pituitary tumor) and some of the side effects it has is tiredness. Some people who take it faint or pass out sometimes. I sure felt like passing out last night!
So I was in bed most of last night. I was on my laptop on Facebook reading through Dr. Brooke Goldner's page and saw lots of yummy info about green smoothies and I remembered, I needed to go make me another one because I only had one that morning. So I got up to go and noticed I felt heavy and "sunk in" if that makes any sense. I felt like I had a serious case of derealization. Everything looked weird. I tried to put my greens in the blender and felt like I couldn't move and like I was gonna black out. I bent over and laid my hand against the fridge and tilted my head down to get blood flow to it in case I was about to faint. I told my brother I wasn't feeling good and he told me to drink some orange juice, which I was reluctant to because I didn't want to drink too much sugar. I then walked over to the sink and started feeling like my brain was going to "fall" and I ran to a chair and sat down and closed my eyes. I looked at the living room and my eyes felt like they were going to gorge out. It was very scary. After a few minutes of sitting in the chair, I knew I had to make that smoothie. I had to. This is my medicine. I got back up and floated to the freezer to get my fruit and began to tell myself in my head, "I can do this, I can do this" over and over again. It helped me a lot.
Soon I was finally back in my bed with my smoothie and a plate of grapes. I took an Advil just in case and laid down and got on my laptop and listened to music. I felt better pretty soon.
So yeah...kind of a set back, especially since I was super excited about my swelling going down, but I know this is autoimmune illness--there are flares. Last night was just a flare. It is not permanent. I will not always have these moments of fear. I will get better. I am healing as I am typing this. God is with me. God is helping me. I will not fear. Amen. :-)
So I was in bed most of last night. I was on my laptop on Facebook reading through Dr. Brooke Goldner's page and saw lots of yummy info about green smoothies and I remembered, I needed to go make me another one because I only had one that morning. So I got up to go and noticed I felt heavy and "sunk in" if that makes any sense. I felt like I had a serious case of derealization. Everything looked weird. I tried to put my greens in the blender and felt like I couldn't move and like I was gonna black out. I bent over and laid my hand against the fridge and tilted my head down to get blood flow to it in case I was about to faint. I told my brother I wasn't feeling good and he told me to drink some orange juice, which I was reluctant to because I didn't want to drink too much sugar. I then walked over to the sink and started feeling like my brain was going to "fall" and I ran to a chair and sat down and closed my eyes. I looked at the living room and my eyes felt like they were going to gorge out. It was very scary. After a few minutes of sitting in the chair, I knew I had to make that smoothie. I had to. This is my medicine. I got back up and floated to the freezer to get my fruit and began to tell myself in my head, "I can do this, I can do this" over and over again. It helped me a lot.
Soon I was finally back in my bed with my smoothie and a plate of grapes. I took an Advil just in case and laid down and got on my laptop and listened to music. I felt better pretty soon.
So yeah...kind of a set back, especially since I was super excited about my swelling going down, but I know this is autoimmune illness--there are flares. Last night was just a flare. It is not permanent. I will not always have these moments of fear. I will get better. I am healing as I am typing this. God is with me. God is helping me. I will not fear. Amen. :-)
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